Surreal is the best word to describe how I feel all the moment... Overwhelmed is another good word, haha. This has been the most emotional week I have had in a long time and things are just going to get more emotional as they go on.

The last couple weeks I have been feeling weird. Last week I made some awesome burritos, they were sooo good, but I had to stop eating them because the gas I received from eating them was atrocious! Chris finished off the burritos (which I craved daily, but did not eat for fear of another horrible gas attack) but the gas did not stop. The burritos were not causing it at all. So, in the mean time I am waiting for my period to start. I can tell it is going to start, have all the symptoms, feel yucky, etc.. But then I don't have a period. I have been known to skip periods because of my hormone issues and whatnot...so I did not think much of it. However, in all this the feeling like I needed to start my period never let up, it just kept on. I had taken a pregnancy test the week before and it was negative, yet I still did not start yet.

I finally told Chris I was going to get a pregnancy test because maybe, just maybe, the first test was wrong. However, this is something I have done many times with negative results....too many times did I buy pregnancy tests with nothing to show for it. So I made a trip to the local dollar store and picked up a $1 pregnancy test. After so many wasted pregnancy tests, you tend to go with the cheapest kind you can find. The best way to take a pregnancy test is in the morning, so off to bed I went. I slept pretty sound, nothing unusual, no excitement or worry...I knew what the pregnancy test would show in the morning, this routine was nothing new and a couple days after the test I always started my period, always.

I woke up the next morning and performed the normal routine...and yep the test came back negative... I looked at it as soon as I was finished. I started reading the box it came in which talked about waiting 3 minutes for results and blah, blah, blah. So I sat there on the toilet and I waited.... I counted in my head for three minutes. Three minutes sitting on a cold toilet waiting for a pregnancy test is a looooong time, haha. I glanced at the test quickly as it was making it final departure for the trash can....and the faintest second line showed! My first thought is that it can't be right...it is too light...it was a cheap test... it showed up originally negative...it was made in china... but I still showed it to Chris because if it was right he should know, but I forewarned him that I really did think it was wrong. The goofiest, biggest grin appeared on his face...and I felt bad because I knew the test wasn't right. So I told him not to tell anyone and that I would go to the doctor to make sure.

Thanks goodness my doctor was not busy and had me come in that morning to pee in a cup (sorry to be gross, but that is what you do, haha). After I gave them my cup, they put me in a room to wait for the results. It felt like the longest 15 minutes of my life... I just watched the clock tick-tick-tick, waiting for someone to come in, confirm something so I could know how I should feel. The unknowing is so difficult because there is always the faintest glimmer of hope that emerges that all too often is crushed when you find out the truth. Finally the nurse cam in to take my pulse and blood pressure...she announced to me that "She could not wait for the doctor to come in and tell me about the test, and that is was positive"!!!!!!

What!?!? Wait, what?!?! I think the first word out of my mouth at the moment was just "WOW"...I didn't know what to say. I just could not believe it. I called Chris and confirmed the test was right, then went to work for the day. Going to work was a bad idea because I could not concentrate, at all. I ended up leaving early not telling a sole.... not even my closest friends at work... I can not remember the last time I have been that overwhelmed and excited...

I want to write more on this about what happened when we told the family and whatnot, but I think I am going to do it in a couple days in a second post since this one is lengthy and I have to get ready for work right now. So the big news is I am pregnant..I am so excited it is ridiculous!!!! I am guessing I am 5-6 weeks along, but I will know for sure next week when I go to the Obstetrician..woohoo!

General question to whomever wants to answer... So I am going on a cruise here soon, next month, and I guess they have a night where you get all dolled up for dinner.... I have heard it is kinda like prom? Anyway, I have never been on a cruise and I worry about not fitting in (I am such a dork, right?). I do not get dolled up too often, so I was trying to decide if these types of dresses would be formal enough or not. I like all three of them, I would probably wear them with a shrug or shaw (not a big fan of my arms, lol). So anyway, let me know what you think...

I am so happy today!!!! Finally my neighbors have moved, finally! The neighbor on the one side of me is cool, pretty quiet, really helpful... I love having him as a neighbor. My other neighbor beside us was nice to us, we didn't cause any rifts or anything with her... but she was awful to live by. All her family did was yell. In the 1.5 years we have lived here I don't think I have ever heard them talk once. It is was all about who could yell louder then the other to get their point across. Everyone in the family cursed, including all their children. The yelling of expletives from the house beside me on a regular basis made them a joy to live by as well. Lets not forget the honking horn at 8am in the morning when her kids were ready and in the car waiting on their mom, yelling at her to get the F out of the house. With her yelling back she was not F'ing ready. This was a morning routine throughout the school year. Yesterday she moved...the peace and quiet will be nice!

Moral of the story.... Patience and perseverance will get you through any tough situation.

I need to remember this moral more often, especially at work!

X-posted

I really just want to scream at the moment. I am SOOOOOOOOOO frustrated with my finance class right now. I wrote my teacher this email basically saying I am having a tough time with the quizzes, that the answers are not in the textbook, and is there someplace else I should be looking? The last quiz had a bunch of questions I had no idea about. I not only read the chapters in my book 2 times during the week, but also have the textbook open to reread them because the quizzes are that tough. There was a question on a paragraph that consisted of 3 sentences and none of the sentences remotely touched the information on the quiz, whatsoever! Her response...


"The quiz questions are a little tricky. From what I have seen so far the questions are not designed so that you can just do a search/look up of the text and you will find the answers.

The only tip that I can think of is do not rely on doing a quick search to find the answers. You will have to read between the lines, use a process of elimination, and act as if you are a Finance Manager in order to answer the questions. The answers are there, but they are not specifically called out for you."

Okay...WYF? So your telling me I am not actually given the answers in my reading, I am just suppose to take my best logical guess on what I think is the right answer based upon 3 sentences that don't even mention any of the information on the quiz...and your grading me on this??? Okay, this sounds fair to me. Grrr (insert expletives here). I kinda feel like saying, you know other people have told me to read between the lines too and they usually hold up three fingers...oh wait, I guess both you and those other people are trying to tell me the same thing.

Done with ranting...thanks for listening, haha. I just have to remember, 3 more weeks and I am done with this class.....yippee...

P.S. it is very hard to type with a paper cut on your fingertip...owwwie!

X-posted

Cry, cry, cry.....I wish I would stop. I don't know why but for the last three days all I have done is cry. Nothing is making me cry, it is not like I am watching something sad.... I just randomly start crying...And it is not water eyes, It is a full on face full of tears. The first thing that came to my mind was to take a prego test and it was negative. I just had my period...I honestly have no idea. I am really embarrassed at how random it is, because honestly I have nothing to cry about, I am not sad....Right now as I type I have a face full of tears for no reason beyond it feels like my face is leaking, haha. I really hope this does not happen at work.

For today class, I want to discuss my extreme disdain with teachers that require certain criteria for papers, but don't put it in the syllabus and don't post or give any additional material advising of this criteria. I have a teacher currently that I have contacted asking her for her paper requirements because they are not posted anywhere, her response "There are no requirements". Bull**** there are no requirements, when I turn in a powerpoint presentation, you mark me off for not having a visual (picture) when no where on the syllabus does it say one is required...I think there might be requirements your not disclosing, duh! Done venting now. I am happy to report Algebra 1 I have an A, Algebra 2 I have a B! Woohoo, done with math! Over 1/3 way done with College... I am a happy girl, YAH!

I am finally starting to realize and appreciate how much of a geek I am for music, haha. Right now Chris' hard-drive is being bombarded with a bunch of new music I got from ruckus. It is a good thing he has a new dual core processor because I officially claimed half his storage space mine since my hard drive in my comp is so small from being 9 yrs old. I am trying to get together some tunes for my ipod...even with the 4gb ipod, I long for one of the larger ones (geek).o enough about my little music obsession...

Alissa and I took Brittany to Put In Bay for her 21st birthday this weekend. It was a lot of fun! I am soooooo tired though from it. We went shopping (a lot), ate a little, drank a little, than went bar hopping. They had all the put-in-bay merchandise on sale since it was the end of the season, so I bought some hoodies for 12 bucks each that are normally $50! Rock on to cheap merchandise, woo! Than after our shopping and eating extravaganza, it was off to the bars. We first went to this one bar called the roundhouse, it was pretty cool. I really likes the band that was playing. One the down side the group that was there seemed to be an older crowd... which don't get me wrong there is nothing wrong with that but when you walk into a bar like that you feel like fresh meat. Of course I am the unlucky victim that gets danced on by some creepy guy that later came back and tried to rub my back....okay ewwwww! I had to do a duck and run to the bathroom to get away from him. I feel like wearing a sign when I go to bars that says "I come to dance, not to mate, k thxs bye". I think I should create a shirt that says that, I could imagine how many females would buy it for the same reason I do, hahahaha!

Than we walked down to the worlds longest bar.....and yes, it is true it is the worlds longest bar...It is humongous in that place! Not to mention the bar that surrounds 3/4 of the room and the mini bars all over the place. I liked the size of the bar because everyone fit and you were not bumping into everyone even with the large group of people there. However, the downfall was that it was country night (Yeehaa) at the bar...and well....I am not much of a country fan. We did hang out there a while because Alissa and Brittany enjoy country, but I was just not into it. I got such a headache and lost my Grape vodka buzz...I was bummed.

Finally we went to the boathouse, which they had this awesome, stupendous band there named "Odd Thomas" (I bought their band shirt and will wear it proudly, haha). They were an awesome cover band!!! They were giving out free CD's of their music, but the label fell off my CD and it would not play. Anyway, they played some goodies like weezer, metalica, rage against the machine, sonic youth, breaking benjamin, and others around that genre. Awesome stuff! I punked out all night to that and danced my butt off! Alissa sat back and laughed at my dorkiness, while Brittany swooned over the guitarist, lol. I am sure we were quite a sight, haha! Good times, good times. I ended up losing my voice a little after the show. We met the band out back and hung out with them until something like 2 in the morning.

Finally went to bed at 3:30ish, woke up the next day at 8:00ish. Ugh. Returned our golf cart we rented for 24 hrs and than we headed to the ferry, crossed the big pond known as Lake Erie, than drove home. So much fun! I am so exhausted...I need a vacation from my mini vacation, hahaha.

Your Taste in Music:

80's Pop: Highest Influence Ska: Highest Influence 80's R&B: High Influence 90's Pop: High Influence 80's Rock: Medium Influence

This is a general update on everything. I have been super busy in school with my classes. I am glad this is my last week of class. I start a new class next week, but the first couple of weeks are always a piece of cake. I actually had to call my academic counselor this morning to voice my concern about one teacher I have, my communications teacher. The last two weeks we had two papers due at the end of the week. Both of the papers pended the student receiving documentation from our teacher. The syllabus said we were suppose to get the documentation from the teacher on Thurday of that week so we could turn it in Sunday.... Yeah, we did not get our stuff from the teacher until mid day Sunday!  This did not happen once, but twice! How aggravating!!! Anyway, I am starting to get pissy all over again just thinking about it, grrrr! But at least I am getting an A in both classes, whoopie! My next classes are cultural diversity and environmental science. I am just wondering what these classes will be like... I have no clue what the topics of them even are...

Chris and I are still taking a vacation. We modified our plans a little bit. We should be vacationing in July, towards the beginning. I am so excited!!! In other news, the clomid did not work... I have to call my doc and see what the next step is sometime this week. Everything else is good. The dogs are doing good and behaving. Molly is gaining some weight, finally.... she no longer looks like a skeleton. She had a problems with works and was not gaining weight, but now that the worms are gone, she is looking great!

I finally ordered my license plate frames for the car...now it has the license plate frame to go with the customized license plate... yes I know I am a dork, but I love it!



Did I ever mention how much I love my car, hehe
GO LIDL CAR GO!

 

Spring is finally here, thank goodness! I was starting to think Ohio's spring would consist of rain, rain and more rain. It makes me think of this joke --> http://groups.msn.com/CommunityFeedback/social.msnw?action=get_message&mview=0&ID_Message=1424276&LastModified=4675668014145162195
Anyway, all is well! I have been busy with school and all that stuff. No real updates, just wanted to say HI!!!! 

Where to begin.... Hmm.. I think I might break up my different topics in different paragraphs. it is the last week of this period of classes. So far I am getting an A in both classes. The more I am in college, the more I realize I am not super duper smart, but I feel pretty advanced compared to my other classmates. We had a peer review paper last week, where you review a classmates paper and offer suggestions. Don't get me wrong, I am not an expert on spelling or grammar.... but there were so many errors on this paper, sentence with words missing....it was so hard to read the paper. I spent 2 hours picking through the paper giving suggestions. I could elaborate more on this, but I am not.

There is so much going on at work. They posted one of those nice little warnings that we are not allowed to blog about my work.... grumble, grumble, grumble.... I am just waiting to see what direction my job will take me right now.

Molly goes in tomorrow to get spayed. I am hoping it will calm her down some. Chris has really become attached to Molly, which I am surprised about. She is getting pretty big, she is up to 22 pounds now and towers over Xerxes when she stands beside him. She seems to have a weird thing about laying in front of the heater vents, so everytime I pet her she is hot, lol! She has had a lot of teeth fall out recently. I actually found one of them, a big molar! She has been bleeding a lot from all of her teeth coming out... I have come to realize the smell of blood nauseates me.....blech!

Chris and I were planning a big vacation this year... were....until I canceled it ....So I don't know where we will be going on vacation this year. Probably someplace we can drive, not far from home. I dunno, we will see when that time comes, we have until July. We may still fly, I don't know though and it may be very last minute if we do. Yeah, everything is kinda up in the air at the moment (no pun intended).

I start on clomid this week... I am a little anxious about the whole experience. I really could take 20 emotions right now, roll them up in a ball and say that is how I feel right now. Clomid is something to help you get pregnant. I know I have had a lot of talks around not wanting to get pregnant, if I should, etc.... I think I am ready to attempt pregnancy, see what happens and if it doesn't work then I am done. I feel like I owe it to myself and Chris to try again. Of course that little voice in me worries about stuff going wrong....but you know, I think I am in a lot better state emotionally now then I was back then. I am also not as worried about it because I know no matter what Chris will be here for me and won't leave me. It doesn't matter what others want, what matters is what I want and I think I am ready for this. This is something that is really all just up in the air.... if it happens, it happens...if it doesn't, it doesn't.... that simple. I have decided I am not going to live regretting my past experiences and fearing them... they made me strong and made me what I am today. I have more courage to face anything that comes up then I did in the past. Whatever will happen... So yeah...more updates to come on that little thought stream. haha....

I should get ready to vote and go to work...Don't forget to vote today if your in a state that votes!!!!

Here's how it works:
1. Go to www.photobucket.com (don't sign in)
2. Type in your answer to the question in the "search" box
3. Use only the first page
4. Copy the html and paste for the answer.